James Allen News Center

Before getting engaged lays another milestone: the historic “meeting the parents.” For some (or most), the thought of parental interaction may induce extreme panic, dizziness and nausea. Here are some tips to help ease you through the first encounter.

1. Relax!
It sounds so simple, but the number one reason why people leave a less than stellar impression is because they can’t relax and be themselves, and this is especially true when it comes to meeting your significant other’s parents. Though this sounds counter intuitive, if you’re feeling nervous beforehand, the worst thing you can do is tell yourself, “don’t be nervous!” This, of course, will only make you more nervous. Instead, try and look at the meeting as an opportunity to let new people into your life.

2. Bring something.
Though it may sound like a bit of bribery, it’s always a good idea to bring a small gift when meeting the parents. Wine, chocolates and flowers are always good options that also won’t break the bank. It’s never a good idea to get something that’s expensive – it will most likely come across as you’re trying too hard.

3. Ask questions.
Another great way to make a good impression is to ask your significant other’s parents questions about anything within reason. Where did they grow up? How did they meet? How long have they been together? In other words, get to know them, both individually and as a unit. Make sure your questions are sincere in nature and that you listen carefully to their responses as well. It will then be crystal clear how much you care about their son or daughter because you are putting in the effort to learn about them as well.

4. Take things with a grain of salt… or two.
In the event that one or both parents have their guards up or come across as unwelcoming, try to make the effort to stay relaxed. Remember that if a parent acts in a way that is impolite (“So… how much money do you make?”) or inappropriate (“You will never be good enough for my son”), write them off right away. These kinds of comments reveal more about them than they do about you, so make sure to take things as lightly as possible. But do make sure to discuss it in private with your significant other and have him or her deal directly with the parents.  If it keeps happening, consider making some time to sit down with your significant other and his or her parents in order to talk out any miscommunications that may have happened. As long as you keep a positive attitude, you will surely get anyone to warm up to you!