James Allen News Center

Let’s face it, dating can be frustrating. You show up with high hopes and often end up disappointed. You worry about what the other person will think of you and are stressed about saying or doing the wrong thing. Sometimes everything seems to be going well from your perspective. You think you’ve found "the one". You daydream about an engagement party and a cottage in the countryside. But turns out that the other person isn’t interested. Or, on the flip side,  the person you’re not remotely interested in is head over heels in love with you.

Dating doesn’t have to be stressful, however. Having the right attitude and following some simple guidelines will help you turn your dating life from stressed to blessed.

Realize That You’re Not Alone: the first step to stree-free dating is to cultivate the realization that the majority of daters experience dating-related disappointment. Soul mates rarely meet on the first date. Don’t be hard on yourself if many, or all of your dates to this day, have been duds. And don’t take it personally. We’ve all been there. If dating were a breeze, popular dating sites wouldn’t have millions of registered members, and millions of people wouldn’t be actively dating. Sayings such as "there are plenty of fish in the sea" and "you have to kiss many frogs before you find your prince" wouldn't still be relevant if dating were easy. Take comfort in the fact that the pitfalls of dating are a fact of life.

Exercise  Patience: finding the right person takes time. Rushing into dating and expecting too much too soon will stress you out and leave you frazzled. Leave yourself plenty of leeway and pace yourself. Don’t feel bad if you don’t have a date every weekend. Most daters have dry spells. Putting pressure on yourself to meet the right person by a certain date is counterproductive. It’ll happen when it happens. Not sooner, not later. You can't rush that special someone into your life, in the same way that you can't make a seed grow into a tree overnight.

Dating is a Big Long Term Project:  
It's wise to look at dating as you would any big, long-term project, such as remodeling a house, working towards a new career, earning a degree, starting a business, learning a new skill, or losing weight. Success doesn’t happen overnight, even for the incredibly talented. You wouldn’t expect to build a house in a day, would you? If you’ve been dating for a while and are frustrated by the results, take a deep breath and remind yourself that embarking on a successful relationship often requires the time, planning, and persistence that long term projects do.

Reducing dating stress is the key to successful dating. Following some helping tips will help transform your dating life from stressed to blessed.