James Allen News Center

Here at James Allen, we love celebrities and the babies they give birth to. There is no doubt in our minds that the much awaited daughter of the king of hip-hop and the queen of… well, everything, will be beautiful, talented, successful and intelligent. In fact, it’s impossible for her not to be – simply put, it’s in her genes and we can’t wait to watch blossom over the years.

But there is one (tiny) question we have to ask you, most honorable Ms. Knowles and Mr. Carter:

Why on earth did you name your baby girl “Blue”?!

What kind of a name IS that?

Do you want to subject your child to a lifetime of teasing and mockery?

Are you synaesthetics?

Look, on some level, we get it. Celebs are one-of-a-kind, so their children should have names that reflect this. But some of the names y’all give your kids are just so downright ridiculous, it makes us feel as though you’ve lost your mind, possibly due to all of the hormones and emotions running through your bodies post childbirth. And your peers, like Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, aren’t helping the matter either. With names like Apple (do you want your child to be eaten as a healthy, school time snack?) or Moses (you should have just been consistent and named him Banana), we can’t help but wonder what kind of oddball juice these celebs have been drinking.

But the name that takes the cake comes from David Duchovny and Tea Leoni. They named their kid…

Kyd.

No you did not misread. Yes that is really his name.

We rest our case.

Get it together, Hollywood.