 Some guys are awfully shy. So much so that if the woman he is courting is waiting for him to ask for her hand in marriage, she’ll be very old before he is able to summon up the courage to propose, if ever. As recently as two generations ago it was considered taboo for the woman to ask the man to wed, but these days it is much more of a collective decision – as equals the man and the woman decide, an engagement ring is produced, and a wedding date is set. In ancient times, arranging a marriage was strictly a family affair. Back during the days when Israel was a young nation, God’s people had certain protocol to follow in order for a marriage to take place. The father of the bride would be very involved in seeing that his daughters were married off to young men who honored the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Neither the young man nor the young woman had to worry about proposing marriage as the father of the bride would meet up with the groom’s father and make all of the arrangements between themselves. Of course, in some cases the young man would be sent out by his family to find a bride and that bride might be a cousin or other close relation. Jacob traveled (with a gift ) to a distant land at his father’s behest to locate the family of his mother’s brother, Laban. Uncle Laban had two daughters, Leah and Rachel, but Jacob desired the younger, more attractive Rachel who, by the way, did not have the “weak eyes” of her sister Leah. Uncle Laban, the shrewd business man that he was, arranged for Jacob to work for him for seven years in order to win Rachel’s hand in marriage, but after the consummation of the marriage, Jacob discovered that he was married to Leah, not Rachel. Citing the cultural requirement that the older daughter be married off first as his reason for the deception, Laban promised to give Rachel to Jacob one week later in exchange for an additional seven years of servitude. Of course, there is so much more behind this story then what I have mentioned but two important points stand out: be careful of trusting a relative with arranging marriage as you really don’t know what or who you will get and, there are some very good reasons why you should have only one wife. I’ll let you think of what those reasons might be for the sake of marital harmony – mine, not yours! These days few couples want the benefit of overreaching family involvement so there are a few ways that the woman can make sure that her marriage dreams don’t slip away: go out and purchase the engagement ring you want, charge it to his account, and hand it to him. Or, if that is too direct for you then say “I do” the next time he dances around the subject – you’ll have him believing that he proposed. If all else fails, insist on bringing your father along with shot gun at the ready; times may have changed but some methods of proposing have not.
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